On Our Nineteenth Wedding Anniversary

Me:               So?

Hubby:          So what?

Me:               So, do you want to do anything?

Hubby:          What do you mean?

Me:               Our anniversary?

Hubby:          It’s our anniversary?

Me:               Yeah, nineteen years. Should we do anything? Go out?

Hubby:          Go out? Where?

Me:               I don’t know. Just go out. Without the children.

Hubby:          No children? Just us?

Me:               Yeah. Married people do that sometimes.

Hubby:          Where would we go?

Me:               I don’t know. Out to eat.

Hubby:          A steakhouse?

Me:               I don’t know. You grill steaks a lot at home.

Hubby:          Yeah. Hamburgers?

Me:               On our anniversary?

Hubby:          Okay. Italian?

Me:               I fixed spaghetti and meatballs just the other night.

Hubby:          I know. So, what then? Stay home and watch a movie?

Me:               I guess. We could put the children in bed early and watch something together, just you and me.

Hubby:          Okay. Like what?

Me:               I don’t know. We’ve seen all of our movies a million times already.

Hubby:          We could go to the library and find something new.

Me:               The library? Really? You want to pack all six children into the van, drive to the library, get all six children out of the van, watch them in the library while we choose a movie, keep the two-year-old from knocking everything off the shelves, then pack them back in the van and drive home? All we would bring home would be The Berenstain Bears and Baby Einstein anyway.

Hubby:          Yeah, you’re right. So, what do we do?

Me:               I need to write some checks to pay some bills, and I just started sewing a skirt yesterday. I could work on that.

Hubby:         Okay. I’ve been noticing that the garage needs cleaned out, and our kitchen faucet is starting to drip.

Me:              So?

Hubby:         So, happy nineteen years.

The Rest of "Ten Ways to Ruin Your Educational Opportunity"

And now, as promised, the remaining five ways you can ruin any educational opportunity:

1.      Browse the web, shop online, facebook your friends during class. That’s why the computers are there.

2.      Please leave your cell phone on during class. The loud ringtone only adds to the ambience of intellectual discussion.

3.      Go complain to your professor when you don’t do the work and don’t get the grade you want. Makes excuses for late or missed assignments. He’ll understand that you needed to watch American Idol and relax with your friends instead of completing the assignment.

4.      Lie. It won’t affect your reliability or trustworthiness.

5.      Send e-mails to your professor with misspellings, poor grammar, and texting abbreviations. This only serves to emphasize your command of the English language and your techno-savvy abilities. It also proves to the professor your ability to communicate effectively once you graduate.

Always do your best, and have fun learning!

(Colossians 3:23 “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men. . .”)

Ten Ways to Ruin Your Educational Opportunity

This posting is a guest blog by my husband, Steve Carver, who is a college professor. As school begins, I asked him to share about the expectations and anticipations on the other side of the desk. (Okay, so I wrote the posting, but they are his ideas. Our ideas. Well, mostly my ideas, but he laughed really loud. He is a computer scientist, and if he wrote it it would all be in binary. 010110110010 – Got that?) So, in no particular order, here are the first five ways you can ruin any educational opportunity.

1.      Don’t open your book all semester. In fact, don’t waste your money in even buying the book. Reading never helped anyone get ahead.

2.      Don’t read the assignments. You don’t need to waste your time like that. Play a video game.

3.      Don’t do the homework. It’s pointless anyway. It’s just busywork and does nothing to help you pass the class.

4.      Always come late to class. The professor loves rudeness and it doesn’t affect the class in the least.

5.      Make sure you leave class early. The professor is done with the important information within the first ten minutes anyway, so your presence for the entire class session is really not necessary. Your acquisition of a prime seating place in the lounge is a far superior pursuit anyway.

Watch for another post in the next few days with the remaining five. . . .